Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence, and Sadism
s * Umbrella * Poison Clan * iFOK * =LOST= * OSA * AO s * Viridian Entente * Europa Protected AA * Stupid Newbie (Applicant AA) |forumurl = http://www.cngoons.com/ |ircurl = irc://irc.synirc.net/cybergoons |ircchannel = #cybergoons |offsitememberlisturl = |othernotes = |statsdate = 3/16/2011 |totalnations = 375 |totalstrength = 1,802,598 |avgstrength = 4,807 |totalnukes = 359 |rank = 37 |score = 12.09 }} The Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence, and Sadism is a Black team alliance founded on April 20, 2009. They are arguably the most maligned alliance in cybernations. The GOONS were created after the Goon Order of Neutral Shoving went up in a spectacular fireball, when someone had the bright idea of poking fun at the moderators. Fortunately, someone eventually got around to building the second goon order. Unfortunately, that someone was Sardonic. Announcements *Announcement of Existence and Protectorate with NpO/NPO *Holy Writ of GOONS, 33 members, 350k NS, and applicant AA *Unimportant GOONS Announcements - Banned traitors *Yet Another GOONS Announcement - Umbrella MDoAP *Passing notes in class - Mushroom Kingdom MDoAP *GOONS Announcement - Jumping the Shark *GOONS Announcement, more unimportance itt *GOONS Meganouncement, Recruitment/NpO treaty/1 million milestone/EoG #2 *Pro-Piracy Act of 2009 *An offer we couldn't refuse - Murder Inc. MDoAP *lost goons, wherefore art thou - =LOST= MDoAP *GOONS: State of the alliance *Disney's newest animated feature!, a brief notification of success - 101 nations *GOONS Announcement, Pro Click Zone - Nukes and Council elections *GOONS sign unilateral EODP with Mafia *Announcement from GOONS *GOONS Announcement *Murder Inc. merges with Poison Clan, MDoAP with PC *Upon a time..., The Black Jesus Treaty - MDoAP with GOD *Announcement of Flag Choice *The Gernade Punch - Protectorate with Facepunch *The Hired GOONS Act *OSA - GOONS treaty Source goes froggy *They Seem Like "Confirmed Bachelors" to Me - MDoAP with iFOK *A Fairytale Story - MDoAP with AO *Facepunch Alliance merges into GOONS *Forgetful GOONS announcement - what did I come in here for again? Preamble We the People of GOONS, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish injustice, insure domestic Hilarity, provide for the common offense, promote the general Warfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posteriors, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence, and Sadism. Admission & Membership To join GOONS you must satisfy the following conditions: *You aren't on anyone's hit list (silent s optional on the first word) *You are not at war with anybody *You are not irredeemably terrible The Newbie Wrangler is the arbiter of who may or may not join. However, full government members are able to overrule his decisions. GOONS is not for everyone. Side effects include occasional bouts of sarcasm, loss of boredom, frequent swearing, and persistent erections lasting more than 4 hours (not guaranteed). If you have been diagnosed with taking yourself too seriously, sense of humor deficiency, or persistent screaming nerdrage, consult a doctor before joining GOONS. Government Pilot The Pilot is the ultimate moral, spiritual, and temporal authority in GOONS. If he says jump, we say how high. If he says poop, we ask what color. He is ultimate commander of GOONS. Documents signed by the Pilot are considered to be the policy of GOONS unless countermanded by him directly. He may overrule any other member of the GOONS government. The Pilot has the ability to appoint any position below him if it becomes vacant (including aides), and remove anybody from government who is judged to not be acting in GOONS' best interests. Co-Pilot No one has any idea what the Co-Pilot does. Secretariat The Secretariat acts as director of foreign affairs and coordinating and recruiting diplomats. The secretariat cannot unilaterally sign treaties of any kind, however, he can write and propose them to the rest of the government. The secretariat designs the overall diplomatic direction of the alliance with the consent of the pilot and co-pilot. The Secretariat may, at his discretion and with the agreement of the Pilot or Co-Pilot, appoint up to two government-level assistants. Strategos The Strategos acts as director of war and war preparation, including administering the GOONS military structure, organizing military aid, running readiness drills, developing war tactics and strategy, and raising morale. The Strategos may, at his discretion and with the agreement of the Pilot or Co-Pilot, appoint up to two government-level assistants. He may also appoint company commanders and remove them if they are in dereliction of their duty, with the permission of the Pilot or Co-Pilot. Governmental Assistants Governmental assistants have access to the governmental section. They are created for specific purposes by the Strategos and Secretariat. Assistants should have a formal title and answer to the person directly above them. Assistants can also be appointed by the Pilot and Co-Pilot. GOONS Council The council consists of four members. The four members who are for all intents and purposes general government. The council's primary job is to assist the other government with the operation of the alliance, paying special heed to the membership through the forums and IRC. Council members may engage in diplomacy but should not make contentious decisions unilaterally. Governmental Aides Government aides are elected or appointed to help their higher-gov counterparts. They have a special forum and are allowed to know more about situations as they develop. *The High War Adjudicator: Overlord of the Mercy Board. *The Newbie Wrangler: Oversees masking and training. *The Dongmaster: Manages finances and tech-dealing. *The Trade Manager: Oversees trades/trade circles, guides, and auditing. Members Emeritus A government Member Emeritus is someone who has performed sterling service to GOONS in this or another game, and is such given an advisory position over the fate of GOONS. To be a Member Emeritus, you must have served in GOONS government. Emeritus status will be denied if you are terrible. This status is given by nomination from Pilot or Co-Pilot, upon completion of term. Petition Rights Aaaahahahahahahahaha Foreign Relations (AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) Tech Raiding In times of peace, GOONS recognize the sovereignty and security of other alliances. GOONS generally do not have times of peace. Treaties Treaties with other alliances, of non-aggression, optional defense, mutual defense, and other forms, may be drafted by the Secretariat, but should not be considered binding on the side of GOONS unless signed by the Pilot or, in his absence, the Co-Pilot. Wartime While GOONS will endeavor to maintain peaceful relations with all recognized alliances (except FEAR), they accept that there are times when diplomacy must be continued by other means. Should GOONS be called upon to make war upon another alliance, either by unilateral decision, or through treaty obligation, war will be declared following either a majority vote of the government, or decision of the Pilot. Enemy of GOONS (EoG) Should a nation, either in a war or outside of a declared war, commit actions considered heinous and reprehensible to GOONS, the government reserves the right to declare this nation an Enemy Of GOONS, at which point their name will be added to the Enemies Of GOONS list, and they may be attacked at will by GOONS members. Common offenses that may cause EoG status are: *Military violence against a GOONS nation outside of war *Military aid to an enemy of GOONS *Continued and incessant provocation (terrible posting) The Pilot and Co-Pilot may unanimously add or remove names from the EoG list, or names may be added by majority vote of the Government. The list of Enemies will be in a public part of our forum, and those on our Enemies list are permitted to petition the High War Adjudicator. Removal is not in any way guaranteed, indeed assumption of removal may be used as grounds to keep someone on the list. The expectation is for the petitioner to explain why they should be granted clemency, and for the petitioner to entertain GOONS. Operational Security Spying is absolutely forbidden in GOONS. Any nation found to be transmitting secure information on GOONS out of the alliance will be removed immediately and placed on the EoG list. Amendments The charter can be amended at any time for any reason by the GOONS government. Such a change may only be done by the Pilot and a majority vote of the government. See Also Category:Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence, and Sadism